First Moon Party
First, Jenny got it. Then, stupid Vicki got it. And I tried everything to get my period. Nothing. So, I faked it. Hm, looks like Florida. Yeah, I got it, it s so red. Cherry slush club! Blood sisters. They bought it. Hey Katie, what s this? What do you think it is? I m on my lady s days. What do I think it is? Rubylicious nail polish. But she doesn't need to know that. We have to celebrate. No we don t. Oh, it s family tradition. We re throwing you a First Moon Party. What the hell is a First Moon Party? Oh, it s one thing to lie to me, but to take that tone? It s on. Hi, do you make vagina cakes? Hello? Then, people started showing up at my house. Grandpa! Sweetheart, you re so grown up! My grandparents, my friends... This is so weird. My mom s friggin coworkers! There she is! I got you the super pack. These are coffee filters. Yeah, I wasn't sure what brand you liked. These kids... I just didn't expect my mom to be such a freak. Pin the pad on the period! Alright, step right up! Pin the pad on the period? Seriously? Do you know how hard it is to find a uterus pinata? I used to like marshmallows. Not anymore. This next one s for Katie, and the weirdest birthday party ever! Mic drop. Music: I m a queen bee come get it, no trippin , I got everything you need. And when things couldn t get worse... My dad showed up. (Scream) What are you doing? You re missing the vagician. You need to stop this. No one is having fun. What are you taking about? This party is a hit. Your grandpa is bobbin for ovaries like a champ. I faked it. (Laughs) Well, maybe you should open this first. Period starter kit? Aren t you going to ground me for lying? Why do you think I threw you the First Moon Party? What'd she think, I wouldn't know? Periods don't have glitter in them. Sometimes you just gotta wait.
